More on Writing and Grief: A Prayer for the Fish


When my son, Aaron, was quite young, he had a fish which he called "Sharky." When Sharky died, he was very upset, experiencing grief for the first time. He begged me to write a poem ("Dad, you're a writer and musician..." -- this was the job of writers and musicians)and to conduct a funeral ceremony. Aaron himself created an astoundingly moving collage of all the meaningful words that he could summon. I played baritone saxophone over the fish's grave which was under a peach tree. I wrote this poem for Aaron's fish which I read at our ceremony. This small loss -- which for this small boy was not small -- was felt greatly. He was desperate for a ceremony to heal, to memorialize, to give grace & 'rightness' to the death of this living thing which he loved. We somehow learn to walk by falling.

Charles Bernstein posted his beautiful cover blurb for Akilah Oliver's A Toast in the House of Friends today in memory of her passing.

"The ceremony of sorrow is performed with a measured, defiant acknowledgment that makes words charms, talismen of the fallen world. Poetry is a holding space, a folded grace, in which objects held most dear disappear, returning as radiant moments of memory’s forgiving home."

Tucked away in the rarely visited recesses of my computer, I came across the poem that I wrote for Aaron's fish.

PRAYER FOR THE FISH

Goodbye fish
you were my best fish

I will love you even though you are dead.

All of the family has gathered round
to say a prayer
to bury you under this tree.

Your tank is quiet now.
The water empty.

You will be a shooting star
in the deep blue sky
and your tail will shine.

I want you to swim
to your mother and father
I want you to swim
to your brother and sister .

I want you to remember me
when you flick your fins
and flap your tail
out among the other stars.

Goodbye fish.
You were my best fish.
I will love you always.

Goodbye fish.
I will love you always.
I don’t know why you died.

Comments

I Love You said…
O thank you for sharing this, Gary!
Tom Beckett said…
Beautiful post.
Pearl said…
touching words, story.
Unknown said…
lovely poem my fish has just died I'm devastated.
lucky 8 said…
Love it Gary. Very moving and compassionate. Thanks, Ron Davis
Unknown said…
Thank you Gary, I cried
Unknown said…
I need this thank you
Unknown said…
My fish passed away today and this helped me
Anonymous said…
Thank you for those words. My goldfish named Noruz just died. He lived 13 years. We grew to love him even more as God's creation who was placed in our care. He lived a happy life in his bowl along with a ceramic Nemo. We will miss him growing old with us. He actually went from gold to gray as he aged. Be at peace Noruz. We love you.
Anonymous said…
I was looking for a fish poem to read at the burial of our fish today, I’m glad I came across this one <3