THE LOVELY CARLOTTA, QUEEN OF MEXICO

There is a man standing on the side of the road wearing a chicken suit.

Why is he wearing a chicken suit?

The moon is large in the sky. It is like a school bus screeching to a halt on the dark asphalt outside the house of the Lovely Carlotta, Queen of Mexico. Twenty children, their skin pale as eggs climb out of the school bus, walk up to the front door and begin to knock. They have been knocking for hours, their knuckles like bruised grapes. There is the sound of keys rattling, the lock turning. The door opens and there is the Lovely Carlotta, Queen of Mexico, resplendent in her feather boa, her deep-sea diving suit. The children brush past her, one of them tripping on an air hose. They sing “Vaya Con Dios” and look for kitchen utensils. When dawn comes, they will make taco salad, dressing it with condiments from the future. The Lovely Carlotta has a shower in her diving suit, unscrews the helmet to brush her hair. She pads into the living room, the air hose knocking over a plant in the hall. She climbs out of the suit. Underneath she is wearing a red dressing gown, trimmed with the royal colours of Mexico. From behind the couch, someone sings the theme to Jeopardy, then jumps on the coffee table, shouts “I am the Alex Trebek of all Mexico, dance with me, for you are my Queen.” Carlotta kicks off her slippers, climbs up on the table, and begins to dance. National Geographics get crumpled, the TV Guide lands on the floor. One of the children stands on a chair near a light switch, and flashes the lights. Another turns on the television. Is that an earthquake? A psychic help line? Tina Turner dressed as a priest? Life is Jeopardy she calls out. Life is a Final Jeopardy that never ends. We stand before our friends and family and also before those whom we will never know. The questions are answers. We have answers before the questions.

Why is there a man standing on the side of the road wearing a chicken suit?

Why is it a chicken suit?

Why is the man who was standing on the side of the road wearing a chicken suit crossing the road?

Which came first, the Lovely Carlotta, Queen of Mexico, or the egg?

The man in the chicken suit looks towards the moon with its new feathers, begins to cluck the names of his ancestors. 

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About twenty-five years ago, I was commissoned to write a poem for someone's 40th birthday. All her husband told me was that his wife, Charlotte, was nicknamed "The Lovely Carlotta, Queen of Mexico," but didn't tell me why. So I wrote this poem. The photo is a mural in Sudbury, Ontario where Alex Trebek is from. I've been at a literary festival here and my friend Kim Fahner took me and another writer friend Tanis Macdonald to see the mural. It's us in the photo under the big Alex.